Hesitant to consume new media due to fear of feeling too much?

Hi, this is something that has been on my mind for a while and I’m wondering if it’s a possible autism trait or just a general mental health issue.

I’ve struggled in the past few years to read new books, play new games, or even listen to new music because when I find something I love, my obsession with it becomes physically painful for me. The last time I became so deeply obsessed with something was when I played Cyberpunk last year. It’s all I’ve been able to think about for months but the obsession is so powerful I get stomachaches and lose sleep sometimes because I’m ruminating so much.

This has stunted my ability to expand my worldview and interests because I rely on fiction to develop my thinking as I’m a bit of a homebody. I always struggle with starting new books because getting attached to new characters is scary. I struggle with new music and tend to listen to a handful of songs from an artist on repeat rather than delving entirely into their discography. With games, I become indecisive and can’t stick with one for fear of getting too deep into the story and not being able to pull away.

There’s no greater intoxication than this obsessive feeling, yet I fear it at the same time. It’s too intense, like I fear enjoying myself and being happy because it’s just too strong of an emotion. I never have anyone to talk to about these things with either, so I’m always stuck with journaling about them to get the excess energy out.