Sometimes I catch myself feeling at one end of the spectrum, and then remember I'm gonna be all the way at the other end somehow, in a few days or a week. And it makes me wish I could just get off the ride, instead.

I'm sick to death of realizing I'm actually happy, and not being able to predict what it's gonna be that comes along and knocks me back down into the gutter sometime in the near future. But knowing that whatever it is, it's coming, regardless. And now I'm even getting sick of laying there at rock bottom, and realizing that somehow, in a handful of days, everything is going to feel normal again, and I'm going to get happy, and excited, and invested - all just to get knocked down all over again. Ad nauseum.

I'm fucking over it