We Are Part of the Problem

One thing I've learned through my own experience with a BPSO (6 years together) and from reading countless others is that we are part of the problem. I think many BP individuals match up with partners that are co-dependent or borderline CD. We allow abuse, we don't set boundaries, we are too empathetic, we are too forgiving ... much of it likely because we are too needy for their love.

We are quick to use our love for them as justification for putting up with abuse, when in reality it's our desperate desire for THEIR love and validation. I'm 2 months out now and it's all starting to become much more clear. My BPSO needs to address her illness, but I need to address my co-dependency. Just something to consider.

EDIT:: I should clarify that I think many of us (myself included) were NOT co-dependent before our relationship with a BPSO. Instead, through emotional/mental manipulation over time we become co-dependent as we try to figure out how to navigate an abusive relationship.