Rock bottom but it's finally over

Yesterday my ex broke NC. She was acting happy/flirty. I eventually called her to know what the deal was. She said she didn't love me anymore and that she was getting ready for a date and that we weren't compatible. She just wanted to chat.

I broke. Like true devastation. I think the last bit of hope and love evaporated in that moment. I didn't recognize the person I had been with anymore.

But I think that is ok. I send her an e-mail (because the phone conversation became really chaotic and sad) saying everything that I had been holding back for months. It was not pretty. And if you can help yourself I would advice against it, but for me it felt necessary.

It was the moment to burn the bridge completely. And tell her how much hurt she caused. I've left nothing unsaid and now there is nothing there for me anymore. She is living a lifestyle that I don't want and don't approve. Who she pretended to be and who she really is are miles apart. It is over. I think I can finally say it's over with honesty. It's done.

I've never felt more shitty in my life than yesterday. But now I can breathe. I feel tired and empty. But not sad.