Me pagal hota ja raha hu....
10th se pehle life bahut acha tha, mentally strong full confidence, psychically strong. Played under 16 cricket from state team. Lekin uske badd ek injury ne pura life change krdia, phir dhire dhire recovery kr raha tha lekin multiple injuries hone lagi phir cricket chod neka decision liya. Phir mujhe PUBG ka nasha chad gaya uske karn ankh pura khrb ho gaya ratt raat bhar khelta tha, lekin uss addiction ko bhi chod diya. Phir jab college aaya uss samay anxiety attacks aane lagi, kuch nhi krta tha sirf room pe beth k reels dekkta tha. Padhai likhae kuch nhi khali time pass, aur mere kuch khass dost bhi nhi the. I mean life koi dost hi nhi hai mere, aur 2024 me graduation khtm hogaya abhi Ghar pe unemployed betha hu, aur essa nhi ki hamari financial condition achi hai, lower middle class me aate he hum, aur iss college ki samay me mujhe aas hogae hai, isi karn family ki problem dekhte hue bhi me kuch kr nhi Raha hu, kyu abhi mujhe entrepreneur bnana ka chass ka hai, abhi halat meri esi hai ki raat me agar 1ghanta bhi so lu to badi batt hai, har din raat me ye sab batte soch kr rota hu, abb life ekk loser sebhi battar ho gayi hai. Abb bahut chid chuda sa ho gaya hu bahut jaldi gussa aata hai, Boht overthinking krta hu, aur dimaag km nhi krta hai, social media chalta hu tho sab thik rehta hai, lekin uske badd pagal sa ho jata hu. Pichhle 2 mahine se ghar se bahr bhi nhi nikla hu, me apni jindagi narak bante dekh raha hu, wagera wagera thoughts aate hai like suicidal, murderer kya kya chodo. Bss ye sabb bate kisi ko share nhi kr pa raahu toh yahn share krdia. Boht overthinking krta hu, kuch krta hu to Darr lagta hai, essa lag raha ki life me akela ho gaya hu, ghar me bhi sabb tanna mrte hai ki Ghar me beth kr sirf khata rehta hai, bss unke samne roh nhi pta hu. Pta nhi mujhe kya ho raha hai, kabhi wapas se acha ban paunga ki nhi, aur jo sapna hai entrepreneur banne ka wo bhi kabhi ho payega ya nhi, kabhi life me dost Banna paunga ya nhi, Boht saare questions hai. Journey from a professional cricketer (top bowler of state) to mentally ill person(who even can't walk due to injuries). Meri story telling ya communication achi nhi hai, bss jo mann me aaya likh dia.