Is this Satan?

I've been told by a lot of people now that the reason I've been going through these trials (ESRD, Leukemia) is because God is going to use me to help others

There's these dreams that I can remember as if it was yesterday that say the opposite and they make me hopeless, so much so that I actually got depressed because of it.

Anytime I try to believe that God can use me, I immediately remember those dreams and as usual, get discouraged