am i comphet or just bi?

for about 4 years or so ive been in and out of male relationships as a female. my only female "relationship" lasted 3 weeks, but ive never stopped thinking about her. she treated me better than any long term relationship ive ever had and i felt pure bliss being with her, however i stupidly cut it off because i was scared of messing things up as a 16 yo. I'm now 18 and we are still friendly, go to the same school, and work together. i drive her to work even. anyways, weve both been in long term relationships for over a year, and i recently was trying to get out of mine as we dont share the same morals, hes emotionally imature, refuses to work, has been graduated for over a year and cant even drive, and he forces me to do a lot of things i dont want to do. i have only ever had bad relationships with men tho, so i kinda just let it slide. anyways, i am still in the relatuonship, and my ex gf juat got out of her relationship too and we have finally been able to talk more and it just makes me think of our relationship more and how nice it was to be with a girl and her. i guess i have some questions for this subreddit, has anyone faced a similar situation, of just yearning to be with a girl while being in a male relationship? or feel like your life may never be fulfilled with a guy?

tldr: im a bi woman who is wondering if anyone has felt like they were missing out on being with a girl when in a male relationship (like is this a normal thing as a bi person) and/or feel like your life may never be fulfilled with a guy?? - also, i am horribly disgusted by male genitalia lol idk if that helps or not