This got removed by the mods of r/poly, had over 100 replies

Edit: it’s a shame because the thread was genuinely engaging with many different opinions from different commentators. I’d like to know your thoughts and responses too.

It feels like there is an endorsement of intellectualising your emotions in this community

I’ve been having some qualms / strange feelings about poly culture and practice, namely around the idea of compersion, jealousy and insecurity.

It seems like emotions are discounted as illogical and therefore not valid/ the emotional party in whatever scenario must just be insecure.

This feels very black and white, lacks nuance, and has an air of smug dismissiveness to it that leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I don’t think having more detachment than other people or a greater capacity to intellectualise is a flex nor healthy. It’s grandiose and weird to me. Also labelling any and all challenging emotions as insecurity feels hyper individualistic.

That person must be an irrational jealous unevolved person so they have to regulate and make sense of their feelings in their own/ with a therapist which is not accessible financially or logistically for a lot of people.

The air of false enlightenment also just sucks. It’s snooty and pretentious. Sometimes it almost feels like an endorsement of callous disregard for people struggling to adjust to poly dynamics ‘it’s just ur mono programming’ is not in my opinion an emotionally evolved or appropriate response to a loved one struggling.

Am I alone here? I’m not trying to attack anyone just voicing some thoughts and feelings. I’d love to know yours.