God is angry

Im moving right now and the place where I collect ash from all my incense spilled, now I know God wants me to killmyself and im really struggling. i feel bad because i hardly even helped move because I got so overwhelmed and felt the anger so strongly I had to lie down. I'm waiting on treatment until hopefully mid-March, but I've been out completely no therapist/psych for a year and at first it was okay. Please if there's anyone who can help calm me down.

PS. its not a Christian God, She is a very old God who chose me when I was a kid. I don't know the bible I'm sorry.