Help

2 years ago I bought a binder in secret (somone online gave me the money to buy it) it's not the best quality, it's from amazon but it works. I've kept it hidden. However, I haven't came out to my mum and vaguely tried to ask for one and she said no because I chickened out and didn't admit I'm trans and I need one. I occasionally wear the binder when I'm alone and it's really euphoric but it needs washing and I have no way of doing it, it may be too small for me now anyway. I wear it as little as possible because I don't want to get caught.

What do I do??

Should I tell her? I don't want her to be mad I went behind her back but I'm scared to come out because my mental health is already struggling but dysphoria really sucks and I'm worried that the binder could be unhealthy for me because I can't care for it properly.

And I don't leave the house much due to anxiety so I'm worried she'll say there's no point because I'd be wearing it in the house. Does this make sense??